A Clearing On A Dark Day

This poem took a lot of courage to put down on paper.  We all run across someone in our lives who in one way or another proves to be of poor moral fiber but some are the epitomy of "bad" and can often times lead us to dark places within ourselves or grant us a glimpse of evil. Hopefully, many readers will not relate to this story. I know some will which makes me very sad. So many women, unfortunately, face this type of and worse abuse on a regular basis. Shedding light on the psychological affect of physical abuse is hard to understand unless you have lived it. Thoughts and prayers to all of those victims out there who feel there is no hope. There is always light at the end of the tunnel when you find your own self worth and motivation. No one should live in fear.


Walking towards the edge of the clearing
Cannot see the laughter she is hearing
Beginning to run towards the melodious sounds
Heartbeat racing whilst her chest pounds

Almost there, running from a soul of blackness; dark
Her body numb, his blows leave plenty a mark
From the devil who's never bruised her "gorgeous face"
Beneath clothing skin purplish black, above her neck not a trace

He's running for the clearing too, pray he won't track her down
Maybe he'll be okay if she's no longer around
Trying to go faster, heading into the sun
She truly believed he could be the one

As the blows land, she closes her eyes
Heading towards the clearing and muffling her cries
Soon it will be over again, having exhausted himself
He'll toss her aside or place her gently back on the shelf

Once she can focus she will flee this room
If he awakens now, it will be her doom
Slowly she moves; the pain so intense
On her fragile body, his rage he vents

For in only two months 40 pounds slipped away
She endures this pain and degradation every day
His coercion her submission found in a powder line
If she is in the clouds, the pain does subside

She's found peace for now as blood flows down the drain
Images of happy laughing children float on her brain

Her limbs are aching, back is bleeding and on fire
As the children laugh, she starts to climb higher

Up towards the clouds, one step closer to release
Suddenly she's awakened from her daydreams
As again she's forced to her knees
The children now cry and she hears her own pleas

Auburn hair tangled and wet, body shivering and cold
Before his very eyes her beauty is growing old
Through the fog she sees the clearing there
Her mind is screaming "I can't let the children hear!"

He rips, he tears, he kicks and bites
She sprints for the clearing, she won't try to fight
Auburn locks flowing down her back like angry fire
Her soul now free, heart light and only one desire

Run faster, breathe steady, the clearing almost in sight
When the devil leaves today, she may actually reach the light
Line after line, blurred reality in her mind
No conscious thought as she sips her wine
  
White powder on a mirror and wine in a glass
Wondering how long these lines and Merlot can last...
He brought pain and introduced her to powdered love divine
When he gets home her body will be cold. Today he'll finish the wine.

She Devil

This one is also from my nightmares, however the roles were reversed this time.  Normally, I'm the victim or at least the weak one.  I am usually scared, cowering and petrified.  It is unsettling to see your own face on a beautiful savage beast in a dream.  The faces of my victims were not clear in this dream, but I woke up feeling guilty for some reason and very cold.  I wish someone could take my words and draw them into the light with a painted rendition of these images full of beasts.  I think maybe if I saw them on canvas, I'd be able to rid myself of them.


Shall we play a game of chance
Show me who you are; will you dance
Does her sparkling laughter
Make you wonder what comes after

Does her steady gaze show intensity
An instinctive propensity
Gauging your need while looking for your weakness
Mistakenly revealed when she fools you with her meakness

Hang on every word passing over luscious lips
The warmth in her eyes is merely an eclipse
The She Devil waits with snarling frustration
Until revealed her wrath; oh the anticipation

To begin, she will shred one layer as you pray
With red glowing eyes, she imagines tearing your flesh away
One layer then two, until your veins rip wide
Her blood lust kicks in, from her you can't hide

It was your obvious vulnerability
Her opening; a possibility
Turning the tide and leaving a vicious scar
Her fangs will sink deep into your bloody beating heart

Now comes her dark passionate ritual
She'll tear at your throat lovingly til all of your blood spills
Setting the mood, this She Devil in the dark
Her lust and violent desires are sure to leave a mark

Under the spell of a lustful wicked bitch
Beware now, you have triggered her Kill switch
Your warmth and compassion make her livid and cold
Burnt glowing ashes of your heart she will hold

Sparkling laughter again, or did you imagine it
Craved her beneath you, so now you can't forget
Evoking emotions for her means you must die
Pick up what's left, go home and just cry

She's now exhausted, her loins no longer ache
She'll spit out your remains while your heart breaks
Beautiful glowing eyes are truly black and cold
The She Devil mocks you, she does not have a soul

Limp away, go hide and  lick your wounds
She'll growl her satisfaction and worship the moon
Tugging at her body for justification is never allowed
Didn't you realize she was only on the prowl

You may beg and plead to see her again
But she's gone forever, get over it my friend
No memories shared or meaningful words spoken
You were a novelty, a useless token

She faded back into the darkest of night
Beware she sees you again, stay to the light
If your paths do cross; you may wonder what that means
But as she stalks new prey, try to remember your own screams.

So stay to the shadows, far from her darkness
Her blood lust is not something she can harness
If she chose another, you would still be whole
But you met the She Devil who craved only your soul.

PG  2008

Demons Are Real

Some poems are sparked by nightmares and must be brought into the light to make them go away. Guilt plays a huge part in our subconscious; some is valid and some is unfounded for the most part.      My dreamland has always been filled with Monsters and Demons.  As I have gracefully aged, I've come to realize these are representative of the stresses in life, the decisions I've made, the outcomes which paid homage to poor choices and the hidden vices we all crave.  Fear is a huge motivator for being a good person.  The question is whether or not nightmares are a figment of our imagination or the truth keeping us on a moral track.  


It came to me in a dream
I cannot speak his name
So real did he seem
Was it of love or shame?

Beyond the pain is silence and calm
After light fades all hope is gone
Waiting for it to commence; calm before the storm
Tidal waves or the apocalypse - now it won't be long

'Tis not my doing if life were to cease
Is it still a Sin if I wished for its birth?
Natural disasters, no part in the least
I hear a rumbling chuckle; I feel his mirth

If it so happened; I wished for demise
Prepared for my entrance, a celebration awaits
I cannot control it; this life I despise
Received my invitation to pass through his gates

Descending slowly, lucid thoughts drifting away
He beckoned to me,calling for my release
Still breathing, still seeing and fighting for this thing to go away
Lurking in my dreams; this beautifully demonic hateful beast

Drawn to his eminent power but choking on fear
I am just a tool in his main event
Longing for my destiny to finally come clear
I heed this message so brutally sent

The lights are now out, blindly heading down his path
Chest tightens, flames swirl and his darkness becomes light
Ears begin to pound, my head reels for I sense his wrath
Through my tears I see the Beast beckoning in the night

Laughing and taunting he speaks of my fate
"I'm your one true love; hear my call"
"I have consumed you with undeniable hate"
Grasping me tightly into his arms I fall

His touch stings leaving me weary
His form in the darkness erotic fluid grace
I reach out in slumber but cannot see him clearly
What I fear most is the look on his face

For if he's chosen me, I must have called to him
His arms now embrace me and will break me in two
Must have opened something dark to let him in
He crushes every bone so my soul can seep through

Is this what he needs?  The reason he comes?
His appearances more frequent though trying hard to sleep
The closer he gets the harder my heart drums
Into my solace terror does creep

Must try to stay awake but it's hard when I'm alone
I shall weaken one day and down he will swoop
My thoughts are now tattered as he laughs on his throne
On a flight with black charred wings my body he'll recoup

Guided to his world below
Its a dream spawned by my fears
Hanging on for dear life, destiny I will finally know
But then I awake covered in fallen tears

Darkness envelopes my body and mind
I'm waiting for the Devil's proof of sin
At first his face is solemn and kind
Then into Hell we shall descend

Is this a demon or just an evil man?
Does he enjoy my terror and pain?
Is this just a trick or the ultimate plan?
Is he finally going to drive me insane?

Will I ever be able to awaken from this?
If only I could see clearly his face
I want to know slumber's restful bliss
And leave this nightmare forever; remaining - not a trace.

THE GOBLET

It is so nice to go on a date with the man of my dreams but the best part of the date is going home...

Returning home from a sterile show

My passion for you beginning to grow

Enough formality for one night
Alone at last; no one else in sight

My body awakens to your touch
Off with the dress; confining too much
Stroke me slowly, baby make me hot
Rub my back; loosen the knot

Lie me naked on the floor
You reach for the Goblet filled once more
Dip your fingers into the succulent lotion
Kneading, caressing; intoxicating motion

The liquid warms as it touches my skin
You straddle my waist and we begin
Warm wet fingers tracing a line
Back to the Goblet; more lotion DIVINE!

 

Touching my body, moving lower still

Intensity growing Oh My what a thrill
Massaging my legs; drawing out the tension
Heading towards your goal; perfection

As my legs part; I feel your breath at my back
Arching my body; can hardly hold back
I try to roll over getting closer still
You push me back down, for your touch I could KILL

"NO NO NO; Uh UH Not Yet"
"You're not moving until your soaking wet"
I'm panting for his tongue which now replaced his hands
Down my spine, across one hip; man I love his plans

His rough rugged grasp moves to my waist
Turning me over; now we are face to face
Tilting the Goblet over my breasts
Pouring out more lotion; now there's nothing left

Grinding my body slowly; now teasing him
Breathless he says "You may begin"
The Goblet is empty; I need to be filled
We bathed in the lotion; not a drop was spilled

As he slips inside; I'm ready to peak
It feels so good; unable to speak
I ride him hard; rocking and squeezing so tight
This is what I wanted all fucking night

Fingers entwined, eyes locked as we advance
Our bodies collide in the orgasmic dance


PG   2010

FOCUS

The following notation explains my reasons for writing poetry in the first place.  When I am feeling anxious, angry, aggravated, woeful, sexy, harmonious or plain livid, the words seem to flow...fortunately for me I can put them into a rhythmic motion bringing impassioned thoughts to life. 

When life is out of focus
And you've lost your path or course
Sit back, relax;  lock yourself away
Go inside to the place where you always know what to say

Pick up a pen and gouge at the page
It's here a war on emotion is waged
Here begins a circle of wasted cognizant time
Cluster of words in your head before being displayed in rhyme

Tangled and confused as they grace each awaiting page
Where their meaning becomes you're very own center stage
Therapeutic for me, could help you find where you belong
Your own craft, creation, revelation or song



Simply joyous or wrought with true misery
They're mine alone, cannot be take from me
Go inside and find the words you possess
Be brave, jot it down; with that pen point press

Be not afraid of what you find
Thoughts can be pure, evil, sweet or merely unkind
They must not be significant indeed
It will make you feel better and fill an emotional need.

So go ahead and lock yourself away
Jot down what it is you've been dying to say.


October 2002
PG

Wicked Wench: CONTROL

Wicked Wench: CONTROL:  This poem is about the misconception some people have about S&M relationships.  On the surface the submissive is, of course, not the aggressor and does what she or he is told.  But on a much deeper psychological level, the submissive is in a much stronger position than the master.  To wield a whip takes physical strength but to receive those blows takes a hell of a lot of courage... So who really is the master and who is truly the slave???

CONTROL

He says she is the epitomy of true love
When he slaps her ass with his leather glove
He says he dreams about the curve of her hips
She feels the stinging lash on her back from his whip

He lives for her screams of anguish and ecstacy
She's left beaten, sore, ravished but empty
He says her tears bring him incredible joy
She's left on the floor like a discarded broken toy




He says he will cherish her until the day he dies
Her tears a mask of pleasure seen only through his eyes
He cannot breathe without her; for his life would be a waste
She feels absolutely nothing for him until they're face to face

He says she touches him to the very core of his soul
She laughs at this; he is a tool of pleasure and under her control
If her orgasms were brought on without agonizing pain
She would no longer need him and soon forget his name

Deceitful Bastard

You've always told the truth never told a lie
Don't listen to his words; just look into his eyes
When you're eyes met from across the room
You should have sensed the impending doom

Not the first; nor the last
Tomorrow you'll be someone in the past
He looks you up and down making you wet
He wants you to be a one night pet

You are so naive and easily decieved
His eyes roam your body knowing your lips will please
It is only a few hours past midnight he seeks
Of  pain and pleasure his words will speak

Some half truths but mostly terrible lies
All he cares about is getting between your thighs
He wants you naked and panting on all fours
He's already imagining you crying out for more

He makes his way over, thoughts in his eyes foretold 
If you noticed the glint , you'd see a predatory soul
Get away now because he's getting too close
He will burn your flesh with kisses but that innocent heart will roast.

He'll leave you wondering what happened and how you ended up in this place
He'll tell you he's through, you can leave as he removes the mask from your face.

BAD FRUIT

Into the depths of Hell they should fall
If all is forgiven that number is small
Righteous or Evil; an individual choice
Heed a moral code or the twisted inner voice
Evade responsibility leaving a scar not a mark
Be a role model to all and avoid the dark

If either path brings us the same fate
Do we choose love or give in to hate
Are we strategically aligned or sporadically placed
When death takes our bodies, is the soul embraced
Does anyone really know
Where it is they all go




Based on our performance here
Do we all end up there
When the mind shuts off and the ground turns cold
Is it terminal darkness or eternal light we'll behold
This is the question that keeps them in line
The thought of a realm so truly divine

If we dare misstep and fall from His grace
Or no matter what, all sinners embraced
If it's true all sins may be forgiven
Then there are surely bushels of bad fruit in Heaven

PG 2003

AfterLife is Only Dark

Welcome home my child, dare not think I'm your friend.
Empty; hollow; alone: Brought it to an end. 
I was there when you took your last breath. 
Wanted your soul; shall dine on your flesh.

You chose fate; easy way out. 
Erotic dreams I have as in agony you shout. 
Endless dread; wished for silence in your head. 
Eternal torture now "NO YOU'RE NOT DEAD". 

Thought he'd save you; of course he'd be there.
Wrong again, with tear stained eyes you stare.
Engulfed by darkness, drowning in the flames. 
You're all mine now, regardless of the shame. 

You begged for answers and prayed for peace.
What you got is life after death with the Beast.
For I shall walk with you; never to go away.
Your misery, my nourishment day after day. 

It was too difficult, facing another dawn. 
Into HELL you've been cast. All hope forever scorned.
May as well scream, you'll forever burn.
Should not have fucked with fate but awaited your turn.

I'm the seer; much wiser than HIM.
Life is our Game: Some of you lose; sometimes I win.
Thought it was pointless hoping for another chance.
In my arms you'll now scorch; through the flames we shall dance. 

Humanity mourns your passing as I embrace you and rejoice. 
You had them all fooled and patiently, I awaited your choice.
Thought you'd be granted safe passage within. 
Looking for peace and love; all that garbage about forgiving sin.

What a detour, what of the cost.
To your loved ones: "MY GAIN YOUR LOSS!!"
I shall be here now and forevermore.
My tongue will sting your breast leaving the skin raw.

My talons dig deep as into your flesh I claw.
Not what your dreams held; not what you saw.
True Love I feel for you My Dear.
I thrive on your pain, anguish and fear.

Your mind confused by mangled tainted thoughts again.
You took your life "NOW WE SHALL BEGIN"
No Pearly Gates for you nor angels spreading their wings.
Eternal fire surrounds you. When you scream my Heart sings.

Escape is futile, there is but a one way door.
Up there you served a purpose. Here you're nothing but the Devil's whore. 






                                                                                      PG April 23, 2003

Any Given Day

Sheer frustration at every turn

Spitting venom; bridges burned

Shove hard, move away fast.

Final insult "Free again at last"

Kick him when its least expected

Punished for being disrespected

Passed through sexy lips floating around

What he's saying; muted sound

Does it count, not at all

Into his arms again you fall

Why speak when he doesn't hear?

Why expect him to see your fear?

Why does he think it will matter?

When he's gone, again you'll shatter

Not sincere, not malicious; not real

Says what comes to mind not what he feels

Just like you he keeps it inside

Nothing revealed and so much to hide

Doesn't care who you are

He pushes and pushes to see how far

You will go to prove you care

How many pieces of you away can he tear?

When he's had enough frustration he'll go

You'll be wondering "Why doesn't he know

He'll come back and rip out some more

Pieces of flesh scattered at the door

With each return trip another layer is lost.

You've only so many and he knows because

Each time he tells you how he feels

You give up and give in knowing its not real

He'll never reach the depths of you

Has no idea what that journey would do

Reassurances given as trust crumbles

When consistency fails sincerity tumbles

Has no clue the power he had

Giving up more pieces driving you mad

Not understanding the emptiest space

Simply confused by the look on your face

Wondering what he did to fail

No idea how to rate on your scale

A costly interpretation measured in words

What he said isn't what you heard

Always finds a reason to leave

Can't foresee what you perceive

Not what you need anymore

He'll never be less; won't let him be more

When you reach the place he's lead you again

You'll convince him the trip must end

Can't figure it out as he's walking away

Why its always the same? She couldn't say...

                                                                       PG  2005

Take Me Again

You're always in my dreams
You interpret my screams
Whips, cuffs and leather
On my knees forever
Rip off my clothes
Leave the garter and hose
Nectar dripping down my thighs
Devouring me; staring into my eyes
We live out these transgressions
I am your possession
The more you make me wet
The more you soon forget
Smooth soft silky sheets
Irregular heartbeats
Insatiable obsessive lust
With my secrets, you I trust
The more I sigh
The harder you try
To make it even better
Hot and sticky together
Sliding your beautiful blade
Into the sheath for which it was made
Grasping, climbing; dying again
Praying this feeling will never end
The more you fulfill my desire
The more I leave you on fire
God its good when you slam it in
Oh YES I'm coming again!!
Turn me over, spread me wide
Nothing from you would I hide
You know how bad I want it
I know just how to get it
You've read each and every letter
"Breaking you just keeps getting better!"

                                                                                                  PG  2003

A Different Ending for "O"

If you've ever read "The Story of 'O" you will appreciate the depth of this one. If not, feel free to think I'm a bit warped: Aren't we all. Please keep in mind, if you've not dabbled in this type of "play" you have no right to judge...







Dead when you aren't here
Free only when allowed
Anxious when you say "MY DEAR"
A gentlemen only when there are others around

Lost until you strike me again
Found when you draw more blood
Hateful if you try making amends
Loving when you apply the rod

Cornered and skittish when we're alone
Gagged and blindfolded; I'm at home
Naked and stretched to my limits on the bed
Relieved and satiated when you've done all I dread

Not often enough do you make the tears come
Too weak to make me go mad
Too shallow to see the damage you've done
You've turned my pure soul Black

I could've taken you all the way
Made you beg and crawl
The "safe" word would have made you say
In your dreams for me you'd call

You left me in a state of LOST
Didn't realize the inevitable cost
Keeping my distance for I've lost my way
I believed in you so this game I played

Will I ever know true love; NOT HERE
Will he spare me as you chose to do?
Can he make me beg; inflicting fear
Could he finish the game as I begged you to?

I long for that more than you would guess
The pain for me, Erotic release
Feel the wax dripping and hardening on my breasts
Would he learn to consider me least?

If you hadn't panicked, I'd still be yours
If you'd known me as you think you do now
Begging for mercy on the floor on all fours
Had you seen me then; before you I'd bow

You were so weak, handed me the reins
I'm the freak, but these are your chains

You walked away from our sickening games
Left this poison coursing through my veins

No one here for me, dream only of you
What is left, what can I do?
You caused these wounds and watched them bleed
You abandoning me!! For Death I plead

Never to be normal again
Why wouldn't you bring my torture to an end?
Please come back; release me from these chains
Finish me off; OPEN UP THESE VEINS!!

Drag my lifeless body to a deep dark hole
Bury me deep and cover me up
You ruined my body; now take my soul
There's nothing left...I've had enough

Uncover my eyes and slit my throat
As I bleed out, I know you'll cry
See what you've created; now watch me DIE...

PG2003