Do Not Worry About Me

This is off the beaten path of most of my work but a loss in my young life led me to some very dark thoughts about the world around me.  I am sure after much cognizant examination, it is what turned my writing to the darker side of the abyss in my early 20s. It was a loss I could not comprehend and I felt useless to the most important people in my life; my parents. Losing a child is the most horrible thing that can happen to anyone. Losing a child and raising two teenage rebellious daughters is tantamount to unavoidable tragedy, missteps and poor judgment undertaken. I can finally put things into perspective and express the words I know will give my parents comfort. I have let go of may anger of how unjust and unfair and unexplainable the events of losing my little brother are and I can finally pay tribute to his memory through my words. This is a gift to my parents and my little brother who left us way too soon. Always in our hearts and never far from our thoughts. Rest Well Baby Brother. We love and miss you and will see you again someday.

I know today is hard for you, as it is with each year anew

I know you both miss me. I miss you too.

From above the clouds and beyond a bird’s eye view

I gaze down each day and smile upon you

Mom and Dad “I love you with all of my heart”

These words for you, not sure where to start

I was taken too soon and you cannot understand

But rest assured it was part of God’s Plan

It might not be fair. It may not be right

But when you rest your head on a pillow, I am there every night

I come to you in wishes, thoughts, prayers and dreams

I am always by your side. I know how much that means

I watch you with my niece and nephew, great kids I must say

I will be with you all again, in the future someday

I am honored by the name given to ‘the boy’

And that little one, what a ticket.  So giddy and full of joy

Today I am a young man. No longer a baby, but proud you would be.

I have the best of both of you flowing through me

I have Dad’s personality, they think I am quite a card

I have your compassion Mom, I feel your pain.  That is really hard.

Each year goes by and you miss me as much as the day I left

But I want you to know because of your love, I am truly blessed

Only the most amazing kids are taken so young

I was brought here to watch over you. Your guardian angel son.

What an honor for you to think of me

Look up to the clouds, I am there; you will see

I am not mourning, I am not sad, I am free and forever will be

Awash with the love you have always shared for me

I know someday we will be together again

I will introduce to God, my dearest old friend

For in your absence he has guided me and kept me safe

But you Mom and Dad, can never be replaced

Someday you will come home and I will greet you at the gate

Don’t worry about me, I was brought here by fate

God needs little ones, innocent and pure of heart

To watch over those who have been emotionally scarred

I guide and protect you from here up above

Keep smiling, stay safe and know you will always have my love

I will see you someday but let’s not rush it okay

Don’t worry about me because I am safe and sound this way.

Patti George                  

September 13, 2013

Happy Birthday Sean Allan Larrow – We love and miss you

A FINAL DETERMINATION OF UNFORESEEN GUILT

Truth a predicament for those who know my pain

Deceptive faux compassion hide my inner rage

Past good deeds and lost sentiment of a noble fool

Waste of space continues wading in the gene pool

Life here will never be the same

Each dispelled breath one step closer to the grave

Bouts of rage and solace fight for a sought after place

Admiration scrolled on imaginary walls in a lonely distant space

Pooling tears hide little of my self-condemning remorse

Once spilled, reality will reveal the magnitude of loss

The body shuts down, systems fail, the soul awakens and a new chapter begins

A story never told of truthful unspoken sins

When the last words cross her lips, it will mark my final rejection

The journey ends with a lucid moment of her undying affection

Regardless of betrayals and disappointments piled high

A mother’s love for her child will never truly die.

Those left behind are strapped with an impossible choice

Allow the forsaken redemption and grant her a voice

The only wish I have is to look in the other direction

Never look upon her face after the final breath; denying vindication

It is with little regret on that fateful final day

The bond of blood between sisters too will pass away

Deeply rooted in my heart a display of embittered cold

 

For alone, I hold the burden of a conscience; a feeling she will never know.

PG

April 23, 2013